They say that if you love something you should let it go. If it comes back to you, it’s yours. If it doesn’t, it never was. Up until recently I understood that quote quite literally and I remember using those same words to explain to my five year old son some 20ish years ago why the woman in “The Fox and the Hound let Todd the fox go. At that time he swore he would never leave me because he loved me too much. Oh the innocence of a young child. It is that innocence and events of late that have caused me to pause and reflect.
When my sister and I were young, our parents were divorced. With nowhere to turn and the daunting task of raising two small girls on her own, our mother did what she knew she had to do and took us home to her parents… to Nana. Mom went to work to support us and Nana became our second mother, looking after us as if we were her own. She always had time for us, even after we grew up and moved out. She was ever present in our lives. She was our confidante, our mentor, our guide, our friend, our anchor. She helped us to be strong and caught us when we fell.
On March 5, 2017 our beloved Nana left this earthly world to be with her heavenly father. Although I know she is at peace, my heart aches. There will be no more whispered secrets, no shared laughs. No longer will she wrinkle her nose at me because she knew my smart ass answer was exactly the same as the one she would have given.
What my Nana has meant, and still means to me is not something easily summed up in a few words. It’s a lifetime of unconditional love and understanding. She will always be an important person in my life. Her influence has molded and shaped me into who I am today. I know that I have to let go of her physical presence in my life, but her sharp wit and sense of humour lives on in my mom, my sister, my boys, and me. I will cherish fond memories even though they bring a tear to my eye. I will carry a piece of her forever in my heart. I will never let her go… I love her too much.